your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Life is so much better after having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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