Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
