you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
