Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I think people are normalizing furries
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