so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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