i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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