TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
