This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
