yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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