You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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