kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
