we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You dont lie about slip and slides
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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