I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
