she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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