Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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