I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
