i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize