apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
