I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
my shit smells like andre
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
