I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
