He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
