Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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