): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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