I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
