i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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