no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
