i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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