That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
