Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
