I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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