ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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