Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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