I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
