If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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