covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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