Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
