Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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