I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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