Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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