He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
