Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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