garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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