Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
