i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
