What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
