Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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