I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
