ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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