The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize