i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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