so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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