Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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