You really coming over, don't trick.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
