it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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