Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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