been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
