I'm lost and stupid without you.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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