Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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