she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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