my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
