so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
