It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Are my feet made of real feet?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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