other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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