I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
