He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
