I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
