No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize