I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
